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Bargaining meetings with the employer start tomorrow — two days of staking out our positions and interests and getting a feel for each other. All us on the bargaining team have been asked to do some brief introductions including what their constituency has been doing for the public in These Exceptional Times. As the Researcher rep... we're a real grab bag; it's been fun crafting a list for maximum entropy.

Heather and I decided to de-escalate out of romantic partnership in December. We're still planning to be in each other's lives in the long term, we enjoy each other's kids and still have a partner in common, but if things are a little weird, we're not in the same place at the same time as much or we're a little glum or emotional, that might be related.

The Ottawa marathon is less than 18 weeks away. I've been running with the work group and did a half in the snow a couple weeks ago, which might've been overdoing it a bit. Feeling better now (and have been doing 3-5km lunch runs in the interim) but next long run might be more like 15-16 km.

Andrea and I celebrated six years together on Sunday — we wandered the Ottawa Art Gallery and took a look at the Rideau Canal (no skating allowed yet) and had a nice supper at The Albion Rooms. Our server seemed to be holding down the whole place alone and had a bit of an anxious vibe, but the food was uniformly delicious. With everything that's happened over the past six years it's hard to say if six years feels accurate, but I know I'm still filled with delight in and admiration of her. We're safe harbours for each other and I hope we'll keep being that and more for each other for many years to come.

Work involves more tinkering with budgets and juggling tasks than I'd like, due to budget tightening, and there are still many rough patches in the return to the office — local management is showing some willingness to fix or roll back things that aren't working, though. I attended a Lean skills seminar last week and one of the things that struck me was the value of actually zeroing your task list from time to time. I'm not sure if I can manage that, but maybe a month where at the very least I don't re-migrate any tasks I migrated the previous month would be attainable.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: Basement lair
Current Music: Panick and the Silent Folk

It's been a bit of a challenging winter and spring here, as everywhere. We're all still healthy here, employed, eating eggs from the backyard hens, so not as challenging as it could be, but still.

One of my union colleagues died last weekend. Mehran was quick to welcome me aboard when I got elected to the national Research Group executive, and quick to be friendly and to do what needed doing in general. He was also curious and open and talked happily of his love of food, dance and life in between matters of helping members and being good unionists. I'll miss him; there'll be a very empty virtual chair next weekend at the Group meeting.

Work is a bit of a slog... getting traction and coordinating people is hard and tiring sometimes, and there's a lot of staff movement and random requests going around. I might be able to make some good changes in an upcoming Lean process review, which would help me feel like I'm leaving things in good shape when I find an opportunity somewhere that fits me better. The return to virtual school for the kids, extended one week at a time since Easter, has thrown my routine and energy out of wack, even though Elizabeth has been taking the brunt of the daytime parenting. I have a fair amount of extracurricular stuff going on — Positive Space is getting more active again, union work continues with consultation and a stewarding case that might have legs. Those extras are work but they help make work more meaningful. In good pandemic news, our age slices are up for registering for a first shot next week... I'm hoping for Johnson and Johnson just so I'll be done (and apparently there are 300k doses of J&J coming into Canada now, but there are some possible bumps), but any shot in my arm is a good shot.

I've been mixing running and biking for my mental health/exercise time. I'm still shooting to run and now also bike every public street with asphalt and a name — I'm over half done on the bike and nearly two-thirds on feet. I've been varying it partly because if I run long distances too many days in a row my muscles have some concerns. But overall I'm getting pretty good at this, and seeing everywhere in the Hull sector at least twice, sometimes in different seasons, has been pretty cool. I know where our favourite tofu burgers come from because I've run past the factory in an industrial park. I can see new streets and developments go up, moving the goalposts for this whole silly game.

I'm missing seeing my Vanier loves in person — we've got our stopgaps — virtual D&D, grove rituals (happy Beltaine!), video storytime (Heather has finished the first book of Lord of the Rings with the kids) and various one-on-one chats. I used to do walk-and-talk after the kids were in bed by phone, but the 8 PM curfew has made that harder. Once the restrictions are loosened maybe walking and talking in person will be a thing again.

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Location: Home
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/229298.html

We have four two-week-old chicks in the upstairs bathroom right now… Elizabeth found an ad in Kijiji for chicks now, as opposed to many offers of getting on a waitlist for chicks, so I drove to Tay Valley to pick up chicks. The kids are super excited. Given that the offer came as a bit of a surprise, we scrambled a bit for bedding and supplies, so they're in deluxe pet store bedding.

Earlier in the week I dreamt of flooding in our area… maybe Michigan got in my unconscious, or maybe it was the high river here a couple of years ago that had me staying home (and working from home a bit… but we lost a lot of time because telework technology and policy were pretty limiting back then). In any case, I dreamt my basement office lair was full of water. I think the risk this year is mostly passed!

Tuesday I took a distanced walk with Heather… first time near her since March, and first time in Ottawa as well. People were out and about in pairs and threes mostly, spaced out and enjoying walking and talking photos on the closed-to-car-traffic Alexandra Bridge (police blockades were down but bridge repairs continue). It felt refreshing, and will probably be a first step to carefully seeing more of other. I'm looking forward to a walk with Andrea and sitting safely far apart around an outdoor hearth with both of them soon!

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Location: Indoors
Current Music: Night Vale
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/226222.html

My supervisor at work had a tip for us to maintain work-life balance: keep some simple task you don't find fun for the end of the day &emdash; you will probably get it done and you will also probably not keep doing it an hour past when you wanted to finish. K. is keen to use some of our administrative time to upgrade our skills in managing ourselves, or minions and our bosses, and is pitching in herself rather than just sending us to take an online course or get on the waiting list for a classroom session. I'm all for it; I haven’t really had a manager who takes that tack on things before.

Elizabeth is doing music virtually &emdash; quite a few things are in the works and she
’s been posting things on Facebook. Keep your eyes peeled!

My phone has FaceID and it seems to rely on being able to see my nose &emdash; it generally works if I'm covering my mouth, but with a bandana over my nose for going out of the house I’m punching in my passcode more.

The chickens are coming, sort of: coop ready, city chicken permit procured, and now there just remains acquiring the chickens. Elizabeth has tried to contact a local farm but we haven’t heard back from them yet. My dad was saying that Montréal-area farms are a bit overwhelmed by demand, so it may take a little while…

I’ve got a month left in my secondment. I have good surges of productivity and engagement, and some low-traction times too. I think it’s been a good experience despite it not going anything like expected, and I hope the connections I have made will stick. It’s been work I really like and good people too. I hope I can carry some of the energy on back to my home position.

The bridges are opening between Gatineau and Ottawa on Monday — guidance is still essential trips only but it’s a step in loosening restrictions. We'll have to see what this comes to mean for our connections with Ottawa loved ones but it’ a sign we can realistically start figuring that out. I’ve found time to connect over phone, text and video with Heather, Andrea and Morgen &emdash; including kicking off a virtual D&D game and video story time with Morgen and the little ones here — but it’s no substitute for in person. Ada’s birthday weekend is two weeks away; maybe by then it’ll be okay to have some sort of cautious celebration? The older two have been back in school and even with quite a few restrictions and a little grumbling they seem to be liking it and in good spirits.

Current Mood: cold
Current Location: Basement lair
Current Music: L7: Fuel My Fire

The older two are going back to school next week — school is open to Québec kids for optional classes, especially for kids who need a bit of extra support, and ours are both square pegs in their own ways and are missing school. With Elizabeth and me both being home-based workers at the moment, we can end the experiment pretty quickly if we need to, and we are all pretty robust and not in contact with anyone in an at-risk population, so it seems like an acceptable risk and we can be a dead-end for any contagion coming from the classroom. We got a message from Vivien's teacher and her class will have 10 kids, with rearranged desks and staggered recesses and lunches to avoid big congregations of kids. As a political decision, the Quebec approach might be flavoured by a belief in reopening the economy, but as a project with important health aspects, I think the school is doing pretty well and the kids are starting to get squirelly. We have to come up for air eventually, and this seems like a lower-risk way to do it. I think it's ethical especially if we share that we're doing this with people we might have contact with.

Ada, at four-almost-five, can pronounce “social distancing” pretty well. She was really keen to go to Kaleidoscope (August) with social distancing in place… we’ll see. One can hope (but I trust the organizers will be vigilant and careful)!

Us grown-ups have been thinking a bit of how we’ll proceed when restrictions lift, too — clearly deliberately and with some fulsome conversations, but the bridges will open eventually, and it sounds like some jurisdictions are encouraging people to pair households for mutual aid and companionship. With our relationships, a pair would still leave people out and probably result in some lopsided reconnecting, but with any luck it will be safe for us to rejoin some loved ones outside the house and the rules and good sense will let me see my Vanier loves, Heather and Andrea, soon enough. We'll have talked about it inside our polycule before the rules change, too, so we'll be ready!

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: Basement lair
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/226045.html

Played D&D with the kids, Elizabeth and (video-linked) Heather today… we're all still getting our sea legs in 5th edition (or in D&D in general) but the party is doing well — offering to help NPCs, working together grumpily, blasting and stabbing undead in the fen…

I'm adapting an ancient second-edition adventure and some of the tropes and gender politics are iffy but I think their drive to fix them will lead to further adventures. I hope they learn to keep the wizard away from the front lines!

After three weeks of hunkering down and working from home, mu managers all managed to agree on an extension of my secondment — with any luck by the time my extension runs out mid-June, we'll be back to the office or at least good enough at telework that bringing me back will go more smoothly than in less than a month. We're still trying to figure out just what we can do and getting upper management to pick some priorities but I think our team is adapting pretty well.

I'm feeling… variable. Finding our feet at work and the new routine here is tiring. Some days I feel like we're rocking it and other days there's a lot of just spinning our wheels. Vivien is a bit cranky and Oscar lets use know they find the whole situation unfair. Their understanding and desire to talk about how various parties can make things fairer about cancelling stuff and travel restrictions makes me think of my kid self. Ada is mostly unflappable but a little clingy and mischievous by turns. I think the heavy-handed orders (checkpoints, now) are something Elizabeth was dreading and I was hoping we'd avoid. The quickly changing rules and uncertain length of the return to normal are wearing on me and us, like everyone.

On the other hand, our neighbourhood is full of rainbow signs saying "ça va aller" and there are little painted rocks with smiley faces scattered in our neighborhood and the early flowers are poking up and it smells like spring and we're not completely bored yet.

So for me, there's a bit of "we're managing pretty well" and a bunch of tired and anxious — real anxiety from uncertainty, from changing rules and from missing people and hoping they stay healthy, plus the anxious that we're all swimming in.

Current Mood: Mixed
Current Location: The couch
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/225108.html

Going into the third week of distancing… my colleagues have made a big deal out of making it through each week of working from home each Friday so far.

I'm doing pretty well, have the home office set up and everyone close to me is healthy so far. I'm working, getting paid, getting fresh air, eating healthy food — we all are doing pretty well in this house.

But I'm missing people too. We'll probably be doing Easter in place for the first time in many years rather than going back to Ormstown to feast with my relatives. And I'm missing Heather, Andrea and Morgen — the Vanier end of my pod, who are hunkered down over there. Heather is continuing to read Watership Down to the kids remotely, and we try to keep in touch via the Internet. And I'm glad I got to visit them the weekend before we all went to ground, which was Heather's and my fourth anniversary. I've got lots of loved ones here, but also quite a few outside the epidemiologically sensible boundary. Households are a real thing, but they're definitely not the only thing.

Here's to getting through this, to reunions to come, to traditions we've adapted and to ones we'll have to pick up again. Here's to the couch runneth-ing over again.

Current Mood: Wistful
Current Location: Basement lair
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/224616.html

I'm in a kilt today… my purple one, in honour of Purple Shirt Day, the grassroots work holiday where we make the holiday gathering in the conference room more purple. Fortunately it's +3°C out (but Elizabeth still insisted I bring leggings just in case).

Noisette passed away a few weeks ago… she'd had kidney issues for a while and we'd been keeping her going with special food and medication but eventually she got really thin and pretty rapidly passed. She's in the backyard under the patio stones with Pixel now.

I'm looking forward to my four months on loan to another agency starting in the new year… I'll be able to walk to work, do things I've built up a lot of expertise in over the years, and generally change gears while keeping my current job in the long term.

Last weekend, Oscar and I went out to the countryside to help Heather's dad put firewood under shelter for the winter. I think everyone enjoyed the time — there was a moderately big fire of wood bits that weren't worth moving, lunch, and time together across our larger network of blood relations, in-laws and out-laws. And Heather's dad will have an easier time staying warm this winter.

Domestic life these days involves lots of appointments and holiday prep as well as signing kids up for all their winter 2020 stuff. December always flies by!

Current Mood: mellow
Current Location: Dominion Bureau of Muggle Studies
Current Music: Air
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/224112.html

Back from Banff, and the collective agreement passed the member vote on Monday — life is pretty good right now!

Banff was a really fun adventure — time with Heather, Andrea, Morgen and Oscar; seeing some glaciers; hiking every day; no major logistical bumps! Oscar had lots of questions and observations about air travel and (surprisingly to me) declared his favourite adventures to be the hot springs. I think he liked the ritual — hot, cold, ramps, taps… and maybe the fact that the Nordik here is 16+ so he got to do an older teenager thing. The hot springs we visited were very different from the Nordik, though: run by Parks Canada, only slightly more expensive than bus fare, and lots of families and middle-class-looking people, and also several languages being spoken around us. Both at Radium Springs and at Banff. Might be a Western thing and it was refreshing.

I'm back at work for another couple of days and then back into the woods to revel with the ecumenical pagans… I've been roped into helping out with a ritual, and we're starting to plan a small communal camp kitchen. I'm looking forward to more down time before a busy fall of continuing to learn my new business line and continuing union stuff. I was thinking of trying to organize a little workshop for organizer types to drink mead, swap tips and share stories, good and bad… but maybe next year, or maybe just informally in the time I might have been ill-advisedly participating in foam sword duels… and if I just relax and ritualize, that will be fine too.

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: STO #33
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/223550.html

It's a nice day today, we've got plans to hit the annual opening party for our neighborhood garden box project. Vivien has somehow managed to lose her bike helmet, which is a big hit to our family mobility. I've been wandering around looking for it to no avail.

I got that promotion… true to form this was the time I had figured it wasn't going to happen and that I should just plan for another couple of years in my old post. The new team (I'm leading a team of six) seems like a nice one and I've got a good 2IC who knows the work very well. I've got a lot of the subject-independent skills and I probably know more of the statistical nuts and bolts than I feel like I do now. I'm going to a new office on a floor with the open "2.0" plan; so far I think it'll work out okay.

I went on TV on TV and talked about polyamory and how I do it… you can only pack so much into 22 minutes or whatever, and I was on (in the second half) with a counsellor who had her views and a program to promote, but I think I did okay for my first time on live TV.

Next week is going to involve a lot of bargaining… once an election writ is dropped we have to wait until the next Parliament is good and settled before negotiating again… probably 2020. But we'll be working hard (and staying late) to get it done.

We're starting to plan the summer a bit — Elizabeth is making musical plans, we've signed the older kids up for a week of climbing camp, we'll probably festival with the pagans a couple of times… and in what I hope is the start of a series of adventures with individual kids, I'm going with Oscar to visit Heather, Andrea and Morgen in Banff for a week in July: his first passenger air experience and sight of what Albertans call real mountains :) I'm pretty excited and hour it will be wonderful bonding and relaxing time.

Current Mood: cheerful
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/223208.html

We have a fridge and potable water again! Yay, back to 21st century privileged life.

I also got to take care of little Morgen while Heather and Andrea went out to see a play… I mostly just swayed while she slept on me, but it's nice to make the mutual aid more mutual — Heather in particular has helped a ton taking care of our kids.

Vivien is in a Hallowe'en mood already. Choice quotes:

"There are no ghosts upstairs… they promise!"

And she was decorating her trick or treat bag with stuff: "a pumpkin, a skull, and a BLOOD BANANA!"

I can't resist saying "BLOOD BANANA!" randomly now.

Current Mood: Spooky
Current Location: J8Y3E7
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/220966.html

My bike is back from the shop for its spring tune-up. It rides so light and comfortable. I also installed a Trail-a-Bike hitch so I can have an auxiliary drive up hills and keep better track of one kid while biking. I've been biking to work more often than not these days, which feels good!

I'm looking around for a new assignment at work… I've switched within my section a few times over the past decade but it's time to make a slightly bigger jump. I'm really enjoying my extracurriculars so one big criterion going forward is being able to stick with at least a couple of them. I think I say this every entry but I love working on Positive Space. It's a good-people magnet.

Elizabeth wrote ten new songs in February, which is becoming a tradition, and had a little house concert brunch earlier this month. I like these at and food gatherings we do!

I celebrated two years with Heather and a year with Andrea this winter, and we're planning to combine Ada's birthday party with a ten-year wedding anniversary party for Elizabeth and me. My heart and couch runneth over <3. They'll run over a little more in the fall, too: Heather and Andrea are expecting. If all goes well, thanks to their dedication and the help of a donor, they'll have a kid. Oscar is hoping the kid will be a Virgo like him (Viv has been getting a lot of mileage out of me and her being Leos and I think Oscar wants a sign buddy). I'm happy and excited for my loves and know how much they've wanted this! I look forward to another kid in my life and to finding ways to be helpful and in solidarity.

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: J8Y3E7
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/220175.html

Just finished my second week at home with the kids while Elizabeth was teaching in Kingston. With the older two in school much of the day, a lot of my time during the day involved errands and hanging around with Ada. She is getting so articulate, and is generally cheerful and musical as she goes about her day. We did a bunch of shopping, brought some ancient hazardous things to the Ecocentre, and kept the house from self-destructing. I got into the rhythm of things and enjoyed the change of pace… but it is definitely a lot of work keeping the logistics of the day going and I'm impressed with what Elizabeth gets done on a regular basis.

Outside of the workday, I had lots of help and company from Heather and Andrea… they took the kids on a museum adventure on a ped day when I was at a training session downtown, and we has lots of time all together with the kids. We had

dagibbs over for Brass one night and he almost didn't win (which would have been news). I really enjoyed spending lots of time bonding and just being with my interprovincial loves (with kids awake and with kids asleep). We'll be back to seeing each other regularly but quite as much as we've managed in the past couple of weeks. I look forward to the next opportunity like this!

I popped my shoulder out for the first time in a while a week ago, between doing up my pants and reaching for my toothbrush (I wish I had more exciting stories for these incidents). After a day of naproxen, I was feeling better on Monday. I think a lot of whether it pops is linked to stress and tiredness.

Now that Elizabeth is back, her writing, recording and performing well be part of things around here, as well as work and union stuff for me… Positive Space, re-weighting and bargaining are front and centre for me. It's a little unreal but I'm looking forward to re-engaging with all that starting next week.

Unrelated: you should watch this magical time-lapse footage.

Current Mood: recumbent
Current Location: J8Y3E7
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/219472.html

The neighbourhood is covered in snow today. I took Ada out on a little errand walk and it was delightful.

Yesterday I celebrated thirteen years of kissing Elizabeth. We had a nice supper and kissed in a park — park kissing was how it all began :) Our date was brought to us by my two more recent loves, Heather and Andrea, who did supper and bed with the kids after dancing up a storm with me and the younger two at the Ottawa Family Dance. My life is full of love and wonderful people.

Friday I picked up my new bike to replace my stolen one. It felt really good to ride home on a fast, light bike that fits me nicely.

Thursday I attended a union consultation team meeting and got a new title of consultation VP … and managed to pass off a committee seat to keep my workload sort of constant.

I'm waiting for results in a promotion process at work. Wish me luck!

Current Mood: loved
Current Location: J8Y3E7
Crossposts: https://metawidget.livejournal.com/218973.html

July has been an adventure! We started with a wedding in Cambridge (my cousin Mike got married to his girlfriend Caitlyn — now they will go back to wandering the world teaching). It was a grownups-only wedding (a first for us since having kids). My aunt Anne did a ton of groundwork, recruiting a babysitter and giving us a place to stay, and it was fun for us all! Then we staryed in the GTA as Elizabeth started some Waldorf teacher training — we stayed the first week and I touristed with the kids while she did her daytime studying, and we had family time in the evenings. We were staying with a family in Richmond Hill; their grandfather was unexpectedly there and enjoyed the kids, and various people were coming and going. They have had a nomadic life over the years and it was fun to see how they live. They have tried to give a bland rental house as much character as possible with what looks like barn wood dividers and musical instruments and art everywhere. It was Richmond Hill, so I spend a lot of time driving (but mostly to TTC stations: the kids find the transit almost as much fun as the parks and museums, it seems).

Originally I was steeling myself for a trip from Toronto to Ottawa alone in the car with three kids, but my cousin Mary had a plane to catch in Ottawa (to get to an icebreaker, so she could scoop up Arctic water for Science) so I had adult company on the ride home. I’m getting to know the route and good places to stop! Amazing Coffee in Madoc and The Hungry 7 in Perth are quickly becoming traditions. She crashed with us overnight, which meant she got to meet Heather, and then caught the plane up North (and the weather was merciful, so it only took one try for the airline to get her up there). We came home to a questionable fridge, so the evening was full of coolers and thawing and delivery pizza.

Elizabeth's training was three weeks, so for the last two Heather stayed over. She had to work during the day, so I did home-making and running the kids around: Oscar had day camp with the UQO kinesiology students and I found parks and people and errands to fill the rest of the days. Evenings were good — the kids accepted that bedtimes without Mama could happen for days on end, Ada started sleeping the night, and with a bit of videoconferencing and some cranky moments, we made it through missing her during the week. Sharing the routine and spending time with Heather was really nice. Elizabeth came in for a semi-flying trip on the weekend in between, with a pagan potluck and traditional Sunday pancakes.

Now we’ve got a week and a bit of homebody time before Kaleidoscope Gathering. Elizabeth has found some time to keep working on the back stairs with Oscar's help, and we've been having pretty unstructured days. Oscar has had a cold and ear infection this week, but he seems in better shape today. Elizabeth and I got to go out for supper and a walk last night while Heather fed and did bedtime with tired kids. It was a nice time to catch up on being a couple.

I saved the pictures for the end — here are some of the nicest ones from June and July. We generally unplug in the woods, so you'll have to imagine all the fabulous dress, campfires and various degrees of extravagant camping rather than getting photos…

Ada is such a kid.

Two-year-old Ada with bubbles.

On the grounds at the Slit Barn in Cambridge, for my cousin's wedding.

Elizabeth, Eric and a rusty giant eagle sculpture.

Oscar being adventurous at Edwards Gardens in Toronto.

Oscar balancing on some rocks in a stream.

Viv enjoying being in nature at Edwards Garden.

Viv looking up in front of some trees.

( six more… )

Current Mood: chipper
Current Location: J8Y 3E7
Crossposts: http://metawidget.livejournal.com/218545.html

Here are some pictures from the summer in kind of random order. It's been a fun and busy summer, with lots of weddings. And not that many pictures...

The bunch of us at Heather's family's cottage.

Me reading to the family on a chaise longue with a log wall in the background.

Ada looking heroic on a tricycle. With our nascent garden boxes in the background.

Ada on a tricycle on our front lawn.

Lord magus Vivien at the Museum of Civilization.

Vivien with a horned hat in a theatre set.

( seven more… )

Current Mood: satisfied
Crossposts: http://metawidget.livejournal.com/217304.html

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Five things
It's May already
Busy week
Miscellany
Back to school and gazing hopefully out the window
After nearly three weeks (and three ghouls)
Doing well but still missing people
Grey and purple day miscellany
Summer migrations
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