Dispatches from a happy Hullian

It's the Sunday after the Wednesday Elizabeth and Vivien took off for Europe. My general strategy is to keep myself and the kids here busy. We rode the Cycle for CHEO (15 km edition, to keep it manageable for Ada on a one-speed kid BMX bike) and it went pretty well — Oscar zipped off ahead despite my admonition to stick together but we didn't have too much trouble finding them. We took some time to hang out with Simon (who had done the 35 km on their own), chowed down on the included BBQ and wandered the activities — Ada sat in the driver's seat of the OC Transpo EV bus while Oscar assembled a cardboard O-Train and double-decker bus in one of the passenger seats (and took some prompting to dislodge).

We've been eating things that Elizabeth and/or Vivien don't (sushi! pancakes! meat sausages!) and on the PD day Oscar went off to the library after the bunch of us had sushi with Andrea. Yesterday Ada and I met up with Andrea and Morgen for a visit to the Ottawa Art Gallery at the speed of four-year-old attention span (we can get away with that because admission is free!) followed by Byward Market ice cream and a community barbecue at the Children's Garden.

One unsettling thing that happened on Thursday night was that someone was skulking around the yard and went into our garage, smoked in there, moved things around and, as far as I can tell, didn’t take anything — might have borrowed Elizabeth's bike helmet for a bit, and I thought they stole the digging fork but then it turned up inside the garage (it had been leaning against the fence). I think I saw the guy putting back the bike helmet. Odd — at first I thought Elizabeth had left her bike and helmet somewhere and the guy (not a familiar one, but I'm not at every open mic…) was bringing them back? They also moved the chicken feeding station out of their coop and unplugged the light in there. It wasn't hard to put things back and the garage smoke smell has dissipated but it was pretty unsettling.

This coming week I deliver the presentation on our unit's specialty to the recruits at work — I've delivered it last decade but it's been a while so I've spruced it up and am looking forward to it. I think, with me responsible for the kids in the evening, I might book a morning off for a second 32ish km run before tapering to Race Weekend.

My supervisor at work had a tip for us to maintain work-life balance: keep some simple task you don't find fun for the end of the day &emdash; you will probably get it done and you will also probably not keep doing it an hour past when you wanted to finish. K. is keen to use some of our administrative time to upgrade our skills in managing ourselves, or minions and our bosses, and is pitching in herself rather than just sending us to take an online course or get on the waiting list for a classroom session. I'm all for it; I haven’t really had a manager who takes that tack on things before.

Elizabeth is doing music virtually &emdash; quite a few things are in the works and she
’s been posting things on Facebook. Keep your eyes peeled!

My phone has FaceID and it seems to rely on being able to see my nose &emdash; it generally works if I'm covering my mouth, but with a bandana over my nose for going out of the house I’m punching in my passcode more.

The chickens are coming, sort of: coop ready, city chicken permit procured, and now there just remains acquiring the chickens. Elizabeth has tried to contact a local farm but we haven’t heard back from them yet. My dad was saying that Montréal-area farms are a bit overwhelmed by demand, so it may take a little while…

I’ve got a month left in my secondment. I have good surges of productivity and engagement, and some low-traction times too. I think it’s been a good experience despite it not going anything like expected, and I hope the connections I have made will stick. It’s been work I really like and good people too. I hope I can carry some of the energy on back to my home position.

The bridges are opening between Gatineau and Ottawa on Monday — guidance is still essential trips only but it’s a step in loosening restrictions. We'll have to see what this comes to mean for our connections with Ottawa loved ones but it’ a sign we can realistically start figuring that out. I’ve found time to connect over phone, text and video with Heather, Andrea and Morgen &emdash; including kicking off a virtual D&D game and video story time with Morgen and the little ones here — but it’s no substitute for in person. Ada’s birthday weekend is two weeks away; maybe by then it’ll be okay to have some sort of cautious celebration? The older two have been back in school and even with quite a few restrictions and a little grumbling they seem to be liking it and in good spirits.

Ada's drawing of the day "started with grass" but went on to draw a castle touching the moon and a temple ("not a mountain") containing the sun.

As for me, I had a dream where I was naked (thinking "I'm often naked in my dreams, I can be cool about this even in reality"). At a party. Trying to social-distance. With a trans guy wearing plastic pony leg pants (kind of a synthetic faun) arriving late à la White Rabbit. And a beautiful sunny room with skylights and pillows just down a hall full of people that I should probably keep my distance from…

Brains are wonderful.

Played D&D with the kids, Elizabeth and (video-linked) Heather today… we're all still getting our sea legs in 5th edition (or in D&D in general) but the party is doing well — offering to help NPCs, working together grumpily, blasting and stabbing undead in the fen…

I'm adapting an ancient second-edition adventure and some of the tropes and gender politics are iffy but I think their drive to fix them will lead to further adventures. I hope they learn to keep the wizard away from the front lines!

After three weeks of hunkering down and working from home, mu managers all managed to agree on an extension of my secondment — with any luck by the time my extension runs out mid-June, we'll be back to the office or at least good enough at telework that bringing me back will go more smoothly than in less than a month. We're still trying to figure out just what we can do and getting upper management to pick some priorities but I think our team is adapting pretty well.

I'm feeling… variable. Finding our feet at work and the new routine here is tiring. Some days I feel like we're rocking it and other days there's a lot of just spinning our wheels. Vivien is a bit cranky and Oscar lets use know they find the whole situation unfair. Their understanding and desire to talk about how various parties can make things fairer about cancelling stuff and travel restrictions makes me think of my kid self. Ada is mostly unflappable but a little clingy and mischievous by turns. I think the heavy-handed orders (checkpoints, now) are something Elizabeth was dreading and I was hoping we'd avoid. The quickly changing rules and uncertain length of the return to normal are wearing on me and us, like everyone.

On the other hand, our neighbourhood is full of rainbow signs saying "ça va aller" and there are little painted rocks with smiley faces scattered in our neighborhood and the early flowers are poking up and it smells like spring and we're not completely bored yet.

So for me, there's a bit of "we're managing pretty well" and a bunch of tired and anxious — real anxiety from uncertainty, from changing rules and from missing people and hoping they stay healthy, plus the anxious that we're all swimming in.

July has been an adventure! We started with a wedding in Cambridge (my cousin Mike got married to his girlfriend Caitlyn — now they will go back to wandering the world teaching). It was a grownups-only wedding (a first for us since having kids). My aunt Anne did a ton of groundwork, recruiting a babysitter and giving us a place to stay, and it was fun for us all! Then we staryed in the GTA as Elizabeth started some Waldorf teacher training — we stayed the first week and I touristed with the kids while she did her daytime studying, and we had family time in the evenings. We were staying with a family in Richmond Hill; their grandfather was unexpectedly there and enjoyed the kids, and various people were coming and going. They have had a nomadic life over the years and it was fun to see how they live. They have tried to give a bland rental house as much character as possible with what looks like barn wood dividers and musical instruments and art everywhere. It was Richmond Hill, so I spend a lot of time driving (but mostly to TTC stations: the kids find the transit almost as much fun as the parks and museums, it seems).

Originally I was steeling myself for a trip from Toronto to Ottawa alone in the car with three kids, but my cousin Mary had a plane to catch in Ottawa (to get to an icebreaker, so she could scoop up Arctic water for Science) so I had adult company on the ride home. I’m getting to know the route and good places to stop! Amazing Coffee in Madoc and The Hungry 7 in Perth are quickly becoming traditions. She crashed with us overnight, which meant she got to meet Heather, and then caught the plane up North (and the weather was merciful, so it only took one try for the airline to get her up there). We came home to a questionable fridge, so the evening was full of coolers and thawing and delivery pizza.

Elizabeth's training was three weeks, so for the last two Heather stayed over. She had to work during the day, so I did home-making and running the kids around: Oscar had day camp with the UQO kinesiology students and I found parks and people and errands to fill the rest of the days. Evenings were good — the kids accepted that bedtimes without Mama could happen for days on end, Ada started sleeping the night, and with a bit of videoconferencing and some cranky moments, we made it through missing her during the week. Sharing the routine and spending time with Heather was really nice. Elizabeth came in for a semi-flying trip on the weekend in between, with a pagan potluck and traditional Sunday pancakes.

Now we’ve got a week and a bit of homebody time before Kaleidoscope Gathering. Elizabeth has found some time to keep working on the back stairs with Oscar's help, and we've been having pretty unstructured days. Oscar has had a cold and ear infection this week, but he seems in better shape today. Elizabeth and I got to go out for supper and a walk last night while Heather fed and did bedtime with tired kids. It was a nice time to catch up on being a couple.

I saved the pictures for the end — here are some of the nicest ones from June and July. We generally unplug in the woods, so you'll have to imagine all the fabulous dress, campfires and various degrees of extravagant camping rather than getting photos…

Ada is such a kid.

On the grounds at the Slit Barn in Cambridge, for my cousin's wedding.

Oscar being adventurous at Edwards Gardens in Toronto.

Viv enjoying being in nature at Edwards Garden.

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Viv and Oscar have been out playing at a neighbour's place today, leaving us to be ruled by delightful Ada. But I wanted to record a couple of fun Viv moments.

First, when discussing bugs in the kitchen, she wanted to know if ants have necks. Siri had trouble parsing the question, but a little searching got a yes answer — and those necks are apparently very strong.

Second, she wanted to play Set this morning… and she pretty much figured it out (on the solid-only deck) and was able to pick out sets and explain why (or work out what was wrong with them when she made a mistake).

Smart and delightful kid.

Here are some pictures from the summer in kind of random order. It's been a fun and busy summer, with lots of weddings. And not that many pictures...

The bunch of us at Heather's family's cottage.

Ada looking heroic on a tricycle. With our nascent garden boxes in the background.

Lord magus Vivien at the Museum of Civilization.

( seven more… )

Here are some pictures from summer and early fall. Oscar is in school, Viv has had a busy schedule of activities, Ada is growing with great enthusiasm…

Viv rocking Grandpa’s reading glasses

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Here are some pictures from March to recently… we made it through the chilly spring, had a baby, discovered Vivien’s career aspirations, and hit the Ormstown Fair.

Vivien at the park.

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Baby Ada's birth was the home birth we'd been planning for — kids safely at their grandparents, midwives we knew, intensity and joy and healthy everyone at the end. Elizabeth was very independent for most of labour, as she has been before — I fetched things, let midwives in, helped keep things clean and was just being present up into late pushing. We'd talked about my maybe catching Ada, but in the end I was busy holding Elizabeth and crying a bit as she pushed the last few times. I got to cut the cord, as I have for Oscar and Vivien. At home in our space was a nice place for a birth, and I felt quite involved.

Ada is pretty laid-back so far, and looking around a lot. She has a powerful suck, curious hands and neck and a variety of unconvinced facial expressions. She also sleeps really well in the baby carrier!

Elizabeth and I got a chance to give the baby carrier a whirl yesterday when our friend Seema generously offered to take the older two over to her place for a couple of hours. Thanks to her, we got to walk over to Brasseurs du Temps and have a little anniversary lunch date. Seven years of vaguely sacrilegious matrimony and crazy adventures! Our conversation was more sleep-deprived than deep, but it was really nice to make some time for our little dyad, and Ada helpfully snoozed almost the whole time. Also, BDT has really gotten comfortable in its skin and gotten into a refined and interesting beer groove. There was one unfortunate server comment about "ladies' beer" – La Grande Rivière is a tart, citrusy smacker of a beer that happens to be pink (and delicious to me and not Elizabeth's thing). Silly server. The presence of a tasty 2.4% session IPA (good for easing back into regular beer after 9 months on the pregnancy wagon) was exciting, though.